Five Times Spencer Said Good Bye
by coffeebuddha
Summary: Five times Spencer said good bye and one time he said hello.


Five Times Spencer Said Good Bye(And One Time He Said Hello)

* * *

1.

Spencer didn't like the hospital room. It was too cold, it smelled like disinfectant and something sour, and the noises all the machines made gave him headaches. Still, the hospital room was where his Grandpa Jo was, so he wasn't going to complain. He loved his Grandpa Jo-more than his Grandpa Charlie if truth be told-who always told him sweeping, expressive stories about courageous heroes and virtuous ladies and dastardly villains. Grandpa Jo, who always slipped him all the contraband snacks that his mom wouldn't let him eat because she thought they'd rot his teeth. Grandpa Jo, who always smelled like pipe smoke and beef jerky.

Or at least, he had until he'd ended up in the hospital room. Now he smelled like disinfectant and something sour, and his deep, booming voice was reduced to a wheeze, and the only snack he had to share with Spencer was some green jello.

His mom was perched on the side of the bed for a long time, her voice pitched low, while Spencer sat in a chair and read like a Good Boy. He'd nearly finished his book when his mom came and lifted him up so that he could kiss Grandpa Jo on the cheek and give him a hug. As she ushered him out the door to wait with his father, he turned and said, "Good bye, Grandpa Jo. I hope you feel better the next time we come to visit you."

He couldn't understand why that made his mom start crying.

* * *

2.

There was nothing he could do. His head was full of all these facts and statistics, but none of them could stop this from happening. He could know everything in the world and it wouldn't be enough to stop his dad from walking out the front door. _He _wasn't enough to make his dad stay. Spencer stood in the shadows of the entryway, and when his father passed him, he said "Good bye" so quietly that he didn't even look in Spencer's direction. Then he was gone, and Spencer went to the kitchen to make a dinner that his mom probably wouldn't remember to eat.

* * *

3.

She was sitting in chair by the window when Spencer went to visit her at the institution. Spencer knelt stiffly at her side and took her hand in his. She didn't respond, but for once he couldn't tell if it was because she was having an episode or because she was angry that he was leaving.

"Mom?" Spencer studied her face and slipped the letter out of his pocket in between the pages of her closed journal, just in case she _was_ having an episode and couldn't hear him. "I'm leaving this afternoon. I start at the Academy later this week. I just wanted to say good bye and that I love you." He stood, paused, bent to kiss her cheek, shifted awkwardly. "I promise I'll write every day. I'm not leaving you. But I do have to go. I love you, mom."

He touched her shoulder one more time, then turned to leave. She never moved.

* * *

4.

"You're doing what?" Spencer gaped at Ethan, who was packing his suitcase and looking far more relaxed than he had any right to.

"I'm leaving," Ethan said as he carefully folded a shirt with smooth, exact movements. "The FBI, well, it's just not for me, Spencer. You belong here, but I don't. There are too many rules, too many constraints. I'd never be happy here."

Spencer yanked the shirt out of Ethan's hands and threw it on the ground. It made him feel childish and stupid, but he wasn't the sort who could get away with punching walls, so instead he was reduced to throwing soft flannel shirts. "So you're just going to go? Throw away everything we've worked for? Leave me?"

Ethan frowned and took a step forward, reaching out to cup Spencer's cheek. Spencer flinched away from the touch and crossed his arms across his chest. "It's not like that. Don't try to turn me into your father, Spencer. I'm not abandoning you. I love you. I'm just changing our plans a little. Nothing says I have to leave town. I'll still be around, I'll just be working toward a different dream. I know you think I'm wasting my potential, but I really think I can do this. I _need_ to do this."

Spencer sneered. "You mean your dream of being a professional musician?" Ethan nodded, smiled tentatively, and took a step toward Spencer. Spencer took a shaky step toward the door. "No, in this case, it's _definitely _a waste. Don't bother sticking around for my sake. Good bye," he snapped as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

5.

Spencer looked around the emptying room. Another graduation, another certificate. It wasn't that different from all the other ceremonies he'd sat through, except...

Except it _was_ different, because this time he wouldn't be heading off to another school, working toward another degree. Oh, he could still attend school and keep padding his resume with more credentials. Nothing on earth could make him stop learning. But it'd never be the same. He was an agent, not a student.

He didn't say a word, but he could feel the shift inside of him as he slowly came to peace with the fact that what had up until now been the most defining part of his life was closed off to him and a brand new door was opening in it's place.

* * *

1.

Spencer nervously followed Agent Gideon, nearly stepping on his heels several times when the older man stopped suddenly to introduce him to one more person he needed to know. He knew that his smile and hands were both trembling, but everyone seemed too busy to really look at his face, and he was waving-a short jerk that seemed more like a nervous tick than an actual greeting-instead of shaking hands, so they wouldn't feel the tremors.

Spencer glanced at his watch-only seven more hours before he could go home and collapse from nerves-a move which caused him to finally collide with Gideon when he stopped by a desk. The man sitting at the desk looked amused, but Gideon just reached around to take Spencer by the shoulder and steer him around to stand next to him. "Spencer, this is Derek Morgan. Morgan, meet Dr. Spencer Reid. He'll be working in the BAU with you starting tomorrow."

Morgan looked like he could have easily traded places with any of the numerous jocks that had made Spencer's life a living hell, but his smile was easy and wide, and there was genuine warmth in his dark eyes. Spencer was so distracted by those eyes that he didn't even realize that he was reaching out until his hand was engulfed by the other man's. "Nice to meet you," Spencer mumbled, hoping that he wasn't blushing or anything too embarrassing.

"Welcome to the team, pretty boy," Morgan said without a trace of malice and only a hint of a teasing glint in his eyes. Spencer blinked in surprise and felt that blush start to burn on his cheeks after all.

* * *

I finally decided to give the Five Times thing a shot. Not really happy with the outcome. Like, at all. I guess that teaches me to jump on a bandwagon. =/

Also, I think I ate too many chocolate covered espresso beans, because I'm fairly certain I shouldn't be able to _feel my blood moving. _O.o


End file.
